My weight has been somewhat stalling for the past couple months (=summer). Sure, there have been changes but the usual pattern has been the following: I lose 4 pounds and go up 4, lose the 4 again and go back up again. Some days it is easy to accept that my progress is not as fast as I was hoping for it to be, some days it is about to push me off the edge and make me raid the supermarket (mainly the crisps and cookies section). “Why am I even trying anymore?” is an incredibly frequent question in my head. Luckily, I have R who keeps on reminding me during the hours of darkness…
As my weight has not recently changed, neither has my body – at least not as dramatically as in these photos. Am I the only one who usually looks at only those two factors when determining whether you have been successful or not?
I may have shed only a minuscule amount of weight but where the success lays is something completely different. In spring, I was talking about changing my life around for good: to start eating more healthy and to not be so harsh on myself. Honestly speaking, I have said these same words as many times as I have started a new diet. The only difference from this time, however, is that I have actually kept my word.
Surely, there are weeks when I eat crap and could care less of my longterm goals but in general, change has definitely happened. Recently,I have been hooked to the YouTube channel of BuzzFeed and their videos cover everything from silly challenges and sketches to videos on health and body positivity. I saw a video on people trying to be vegan for 30 days and it definitely awoke some memories and feelings in me. I am not living on a completely plant-based diet but I am way further from it than the people on the video: I eat eggs and poultry approximately biweekly, I add honey to my oatmeal but I do not consume any dairy products.
At the beginning, I was struggling with letting go of cheese and yoghurt but I have found my alternatives. I do not miss meat (apart from certain occasions). For the rest, I genuinely do not feel like I am restricting what I eat. In fact, I feel like I am eating more diversely than I used to and I have noticed a difference in my energy levels and overall wellbeing. Why do I not see this as success? Is it because a well balanced diet is seen as a norm instead of something that one could aspire to have? Well, from now on, I want to start measuring my success also by the way I feel, the times I choose for the healthy alternatives and resist urges.
I may be nearly a graduate from an engineering school but life should not be all about numbers…
Weekly weigh-in and new measures
I have been at this weight before and the most recent time was not a long time ago. However, my goal for the next week is to fight the urges of eating too much empty calories (also possible when you have a plant based diet), lose a pound or two; to finally get past this milestone I have been hanging about for what seems like forever. I have not been going to the gym as much as I was intending so it is also time to start keeping track also of how many times I end up going there…
BMI: 31.8 (-0.2)
Exercise: x 3
My question to you: What does success mean to you?